Sunday, May 30, 2010

Younger Facebook Users Care More About Privacy?

A recent study indicates that younger Facebook users are more likely to enact privacy controls. The conclusions made in the PCWorld article are bit shaky. They assume that younger people are more privacy-conscious in general without accounting for the fact that they are also 100 times more likely to have embarrassing content online. How many passed-out naked pictures do you see of 60-year-old men?

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Office Pranks

Here is a very short list of (mostly penis-related) office pranks:

  • If someone has a white board that is really dirty even when it is erased, clean off a penis-shaped area in the center with white-board cleaner.
  • (Only works in some places) If someone falls asleep, write something classified or sensitive on their forehead with permanent marker.
  • Cut out a piece of paper in the shape of a 3-inch penis. Then, tape it to the bottom of someone's mouse so it covers the tracking ball/laser.

More to come later!

Monday, May 17, 2010

Bay to Breakers

I got to experience the real San Francisco this weekend in the form of Bay to Breakers. I didn't take any pictures, but Google will show you everything you want to see. If you want the real experience, try searching for Bay to Breakers with safesearch turned off. Here are some things I have learned, and seen, in no particular order.
  • Smoking cigarettes in SF is not cool. They are bad for you, and illegal to smoke in bars.
  • Smoking pot is encouraged and accepted, especially in bars.
  • Lots of cocaine (by my standards)
  • Way more man cock than I bargained for
  • San Francisco has excellent electronic music.
  • Things that you cannot get arrested for:
    • Drugs
    • Being naked
    • Peeing on a bush 10 feet from a cop car
    • Drinking booze on the other side of the street laughing at the guy almost peeing on a cop car
Thanks San Francisco! (and thanks Jeremy for inviting me to the "drunken shit show")

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Well-Traveled Women

If you're like me you've used the Internet. The latest trend in online dating advertisements, which can be found on any less-than-reputable website, is to show pictures of women who live nearby. When you are looking for hotties without scruples, you don't really want to leave a 10-mile radius. IP geo-location to the rescue!

Here are some fine ladies who live near Silver Spring. What a coincidence, so do I!

Oh wait, now they're in Lansing...

San Francisco...

Apparently the bottom one didn't make it to Switzerland, she is scared of flying, and boats.

Now here's an interesting predicament. These two advertisers can't seem to figure out whether to sell me sex in Puerto Rico or in East Lansing.

I continue to be amazed by the ways in which technology improves quality of life.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

How Not to Make a Car Bomb

The recent car bombing attempt in Times Square makes me feel a little bit safer. If people who have the will to carry out a terrorist attack only have the intelligence to come up with the hilarious contraption discovered in the Nissan Pathfinder in Times Square, then we can all rest easy. Apparently, the "three-stage" explosive device used to carry out the attempted attack was based on watching James Bond and other action movies, rather than actual science. It was about what you'd get from a giving fourth grader a $100 dollar bill and 20 minutes in a hardware store. It's usually not cool to poke fun at attempted bombings, but this one is too funny to resist. Here are a few of the highlights:
  • The man packed a gun locker with fertilizer. However, it wasn't the kind of ammonium-based fertilizer that actually explodes. It was normal fertilizer that you can get at any store. He may as well have filled the locker with sand. Glad he doesn't know how to use Google or Wikipedia!
  • He strapped firecrackers to the outside of propane tanks. That's right, thick, steel propane tanks that are designed to withstand tremendous pressure. And the firecrackers? You might get a blister if you let one explode in your hand. And oh yeah, the valves on the tanks were closed, so even if the firecrackers caused a spark, absolutely nothing would happen.
  • Finally, there were some full cans of gas, also closed. Apparently gasoline still needs oxygen to explode.
End result: several fire crackers ignite, smoke comes out of car, hot dog vendor calls police, vehicle owner, who used his own car for the "bombing", goes to jail. We should all be thankful that those American citizens who have half a brain are not terrorists!

Friday, April 16, 2010

MSU Noobs

This is why you always have your drunk friend keep watch at the laundry room door:

Seriously - how hard is it to steal panties from an empty laundry room without getting caught?

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The front page of the Republican National Committee's website right now has a scary picture of Nancy Pelosi with a nice red-flame background. It looks really professional. Here is a screen shot.

Politics seems pretty easy. All you have to do is complain about and say you are going to fire the person in power who is actually doing stuff. People don't like stuff. George Bush proved that.

Want to make one of your own political ads? I have created a "Fire _____" template. I even filled one in for George Bush that would have worked in any recent election as an example. Political campaigning is easy, try it for yourself!