Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Male Generosity

When you get 40 inches of snow in a week, people need help shoveling out their cars. Here is a table of what a female needs to give a male to help her shovel, broken down by her attractiveness and his college major.

HotnessLaw Engineering General Studies
1 Court Order First Kiss Place to Sleep
2 $50 Attention Pizza
3 $40 Eye Contact Burrito
4 $30 5 GP in WoW Joint
5 $20 Free Ham Sandwich
6 $15 Free Snickers
7 $10 Free M&M
8 $5 Free Free
9 Free N/A (Too Scared) Free
10 Free N/A (Way Too Scared)Free

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Computer Engineer Barbie


Apparently Barbie has become the one blonde woman in your computer engineering class. (See the Gizmodo article.) Because I am a nerd, I actually took time to decode the binary on Barbie's computer screen, which reads: 'Barbie'.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Going to Jail and Your Career

Lil Wayne will soon be heading off to jail for gun possession. Although jail is a bad thing for most people, Lil Wayne is "Looking forward to it." (See Rolling Stone Article.) Some have also speculated that going to jail will help Lil Wayne's career, like it did for Tupac (see Does Going to Jail Make Rappers Cool?).

Let's take a look at some American careers and see if they benefit from time behind bars:
  • Rapper: yes
  • Doctor: no
  • Lawyer: no
  • Priest: no
  • Banker: no
  • Homeless: yes
  • Engineer: no
  • Construction worker: no
  • Factory worker: no
  • Pharmacist: no
  • Bank teller: no
  • Gangsta: yes
  • Congressman: no
  • Burger flipper at McDonalds: no
  • Professional golfer: no
  • Professional football player:
    • Dallas Cowboys: yes
    • Others: no
  • Governer:
    • Illinois: yes
    • Others: no
  • Mayor:
    • Detroit and DC: yes
    • Others: no

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Massachusetts Senate Election Revisited

They voted for Obama only one year ago, but have changed their minds now that he is trying to fulfill his campaign promises. How can this be? In lieu of a magic 8-ball, let's turn to Google to find the answer to this extremely important question:

"Why..." Okay, so there are more fascinating things than politics (poop and nipples, primarily).

"Why did m..." Well, I suppose we all know that Michael Jackson's skin color is more important than the future of health care reform.

"Why did mas..." Finally Massachusetts comes up on the radar, but not before Mase - the quintessential rapper. I am impressed and surprised, however, by the Maslow hit.

Anyway, let's view the results and get to the bottom of this! As you can see, the most reliable source of information on this topic is Yahoo answers, which is slightly above the New York Times (#2), a Craigslist rant (#3), GayPatriot (#4), CNN.com (#6), Reuters (#8), a "Democrats are Destroying America!" Facebook group (#21), the Wall Street Journal (#30), PBS.org (#60), and finally: news.yahoo.com (#68).

And here's the highest rated reply on Yahoo answers:

"Gandolf the grey told him to."

And there you have it...

Google + Yahoo = enlightenment