I Thought So

Apparently, the Prius driver was bankrupt and several months late on his car payments. I wonder how many drivers who are on time with their car payments have had similar sudden acceleration issues?

Runaway Prius a Hoax?

When I first saw today's headline about a runaway Prius in the L.A. times, I thought "Sucks to be Toyata, they must have missed a car in the recall." After reading the article, however, it started to look like an elaborate hoax - one that may end up costing Toyota millions. Many of the comments on the story at latimes.com seem to suggest the same. Here are some facts from the story that just don't add up:

• The guy took the car into the Toyota dealer recently, and it was not part of the recall. Possible mistake, but this is highly unlikely.


• He pressed the brake to the floor, but it didn't slow down the car. Most cars with good brakes can lock up all four wheels at any speed. A Prius isn't exactly a torque-machine. Its acceleration is pretty weak and should be easily overpowered by the brakes.


• The car was accelerating for 20 minutes before it could be stopped. I don't know if any of you have ever driven on a freeway with other cars before, but it is nearly impossible to go 90 MPH for 5 minutes - let alone 20 - without hitting traffic. Unless he was passing cars on the shoulder (unlikely), he would have definitely hit another vehicle in 20 minutes.


• He called 911. If you were speeding along at 90 MPH and unable to stop, would you call 911 (if it wasn't a hoax)? What is 911 going to tell you that you don't already know? Wouldn't you be scared to take a hand off the wheel when weaving in and out of traffic and passing on the shoulder?


• The man claims that the reason he didn't shift into neutral is that he thought the car might go into reverse. If he had said "I just didn't think about shifting into neutral" then this would be a believable story. One psychological trait of someone creating a hoax is attracting attention and trying to paint oneself in a positive light. To not seem like an idiot, he had to answer the question "Why didn't you just shift into neutral?" with a response that made him seem smart: "I thought it would go into reverse." However, this answer is dumber than not thinking of switching to neutral in the first place. Not only would the car not allow you shift into reverse at 90 MPH, but wouldn't reverse actually be a good thing because it would lock up your wheels and/or drop the transmission?

These unlikely events don't prove that the latest runaway Toyota is a hoax, but they are quite suspicious. If I were a betting man, I would give 4 to 1 odds of a hoax. Regardless of how this turns out, one thing is for certain: this event is yet another PR disaster for Toyota. If news breaks that the whole thing was a hoax, Toyota owners will still be frightened. At the very least, those who read this story but don't see next week's headline about the whole thing being made up will be terrified to buy Toyotas for life.

Afterthought: There isn't anything much more American than fabricating an elaborate hoax to draw attention to oneself (aliens, balloon boy, etc.). Double props to this guy for constructing a hoax that also makes consumers scared to purchase foreign automobiles and further strengthens the American economy.

Male Generosity

When you get 40 inches of snow in a week, people need help shoveling out their cars. Here is a table of what a female needs to give a male to help her shovel, broken down by her attractiveness and his college major.

Hotness	Law	Engineering	General Studies
1	Court Order	First Kiss	Place to Sleep
2	$50	Attention	Pizza
3	$40	Eye Contact	Burrito
4	$30	5 GP in WoW	Joint
5	$20	Free	Ham Sandwich
6	$15	Free	Snickers
7	$10	Free	M&M
8	$5	Free	Free
9	Free	N/A (Too Scared)	Free
10	Free	N/A (Way Too Scared)	Free

Computer Engineer Barbie

Apparently Barbie has become the one blonde woman in your computer engineering class. (See the Gizmodo article.) Because I am a nerd, I actually took time to decode the binary on Barbie's computer screen, which reads: 'Barbie'.

Going to Jail and Your Career

Lil Wayne will soon be heading off to jail for gun possession. Although jail is a bad thing for most people, Lil Wayne is "Looking forward to it." (See Rolling Stone Article.) Some have also speculated that going to jail will help Lil Wayne's career, like it did for Tupac (see Does Going to Jail Make Rappers Cool?).

Let's take a look at some American careers and see if they benefit from time behind bars:

• Rapper: yes
• Doctor: no
• Lawyer: no
• Priest: no
• Banker: no
• Homeless: yes
• Engineer: no
• Construction worker: no
• Factory worker: no
• Pharmacist: no
• Bank teller: no
• Gangsta: yes
• Congressman: no
• Burger flipper at McDonalds: no
• Professional golfer: no
• Professional football player:
  • Dallas Cowboys: yes
  • Others: no
• Governer:
  • Illinois: yes
  • Others: no
• Mayor:
  • Detroit and DC: yes
  • Others: no

Massachusetts Senate Election Revisited

They voted for Obama only one year ago, but have changed their minds now that he is trying to fulfill his campaign promises. How can this be? In lieu of a magic 8-ball, let's turn to Google to find the answer to this extremely important question:

"Why..." Okay, so there are more fascinating things than politics (poop and nipples, primarily).

"Why did m..." Well, I suppose we all know that Michael Jackson's skin color is more important than the future of health care reform.

"Why did mas..." Finally Massachusetts comes up on the radar, but not before Mase - the quintessential rapper. I am impressed and surprised, however, by the Maslow hit.

Anyway, let's view the results and get to the bottom of this! As you can see, the most reliable source of information on this topic is Yahoo answers, which is slightly above the New York Times (#2), a Craigslist rant (#3), GayPatriot (#4), CNN.com (#6), Reuters (#8), a "Democrats are Destroying America!" Facebook group (#21), the Wall Street Journal (#30), PBS.org (#60), and finally: news.yahoo.com (#68).

And here's the highest rated reply on Yahoo answers:

"Gandolf the grey told him to."

And there you have it...

Google + Yahoo = enlightenment

Is... ?

Sorry Lady Gaga, the American public thinks you have a penis.

Also, props to the Mayans for creating almost as much of a stir about 2012 as there was about 2000 without having been smart enough to invent the wheel.

Is Khloe Kardashian pregnant? I don't know, I didn't see that sex tape.

Is pneumonia contagious? Again, I don't know, perhaps you should ask someone who died from it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Deaths_from_pneumonia.